i've just spent an hour and a half doing this retarded law assignment that's only worth 20 marks, and I'm *still* not done. it doesn't help that i wasn't in class today.. he probably gave them some answers. damn.

my parents think i stayed home today 'cause i was feeling depressed. i don't know if that was it. feeling generally down has almost become part of my life now. i don't really know what normal is, so to me this is normal. they're worried about me and talked to me about them not going on their trip to europe (they're leaving on wednesday for two weeks). i think they think i'm going to kill myself or something. honestly, it hasn't crossed my mind in a long time so i don't think there's any worry in that. the worse that will happen is that it will just all of a sudden get so uncontrollably bad like it got last year.

so anyway. it should be alright with them gone. i'm sort of looking forward to it, but mostly i'm kind of indifferent. the only thing that is making me slightly anxious is the fact that they are talking with their lawyer and writing up wills in case something should happen.... and that really scares me. all my life i have just been petrified that my parents would die.. i think that would just send me right over the edge if that happened. so. jesus, i hope they are okay on this trip. normally i wouldn't be so anxious, but since they are flying over there and through europe, it does worry me. *sigh*. i guess it's totally out of my control though.

anyway, dad needs the computer to e-mail someone so i need to go. updates later.